What are we hiding from?

It seems to be that the more I speak to women(friends, coworkers) I have realized we all live with this idea of needing to hide. What are we hiding from? Ourselves? We seem to impose these negative thoughts on others of how they see us. Either we are too fat, too short, too skinny, big boned, anorexic, obese.  When really it is us who is internalizing this. We are the ones.   I know this because I have done it for the longest time.  I feel it is because I have been extremely uncomfortable in my own skin for a very very long time.  I am still to this day at times. I have my moments as we all do.

Do we all wear our imaginary masks that we can hide behind to outwardly portray that we are presentable to others yet we are deeply hurting inside?  Or is it masks meaning piling on the make-up or dressing a certain way. Over-doing ourselves thinking we need to make a good impression.  We want to be "liked".  We want that someone or whomever to want to have a conversation with us.  Otherwise, what are we worth? My gosh, it boggles my mind how we could think so little of ourselves.  It's so sad, because I have been one of them. I have felt like that for many years.

I always felt the need to be or act fake in a way.  It was so not me.  I always thought I was a good person, sweet, kind, personable, easy to talk to type.  So why did I need to hide? Why did I need to wear the mask in order to feel accepted?  It is so weird, so unnecessary. I'd say what I have come to realize is that if someone doesn't want to talk to me, be around me, like me or whatever, who cares.  It's their problem, their issues and why should I care.  It's their loss not mine.

As I see it the only person I should be concerned about is me. I need to understand that I need to be able to impress myself, be proud of who I am as a woman, as an individual.  I have been hiding in my shell for way too long.  As the past year has gone by my journey has had its ups and downs.  As life usually does.  There will always be some bumps in the road.  What I have been taught is how we handle those bumps and how we choose to smoothe them out so our path becomes free flowing again.  I am getting there and learning as I go along. 

I am truly tired of hiding and being afraid.  I think it's about time my face be seen, my name be known, my life be lived.  I have people around me to reach out their hand to help guide me along.  To show me the way (so-to-speak).   Now it is just a matter of me taking the BULL by the HORNS and taking control.

Once we realize what we are hiding from and it just may be our own shadow of ourselves.  Hiding from a fabricated reality which we concocted in our brains of which is really non-existent.   We must remove those walls of protection we have kept up for so long and begin to open up to our true selves.  It is only then we are no longer hiding but now we want to be found.

 As that saying goes, "Seek and ye shall find".