Is Enough ever Enough

When you realize that you are not the only one struggling with weight issues and you see that others are going through the same, it's that mutual understanding that becomes comforting.  I am speaking of my meetings I attend every Tuesday evening at Weight Watchers.  I see all walks of life from very young to elderly dealing with the lifelong struggle of being overweight.  Sharing our stories, triumphs, recipes, and giving encouragement to eachother. 

After all my years of being obese since I was a young girl  and attending these meetings where I never opened up my mouth to speak, I am in a different place now.  I am talking about maturity, spiritually, "been there done that", and have had major weightloss success.  I see things in a different light.  Now gaining control of my life, my thoughts, my feelings, handling stress, it seems that things can be done, I can accomplish what I want to. And it sure does help when you realize that beating yourself up each and everytime something doesn't go your way, you dust yourself off and keep on keeping on.

BUT....... here is some food for thought.  When is Enough ever enough?  What I mean by this is, a lot of us go into a situation for example, determining to lose weight.  Are our ideas of what we want the outcome to be is so unrealistic that we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment.  It is always advised to set a realistic goal.  Something you know that you will be able to reach.  But the main goal here is to be healthy and happy with who we are and how we see ourselves.  We all have this distorted view of what we think we are supposed to look like not realizing that it is not for everyone.  When do we realize that we are enough and don't have to strive to be something we are not nor could ever be.  For example, the movie stars or Supermodels. 

If the thoughts in our head are always telling us we are not good enough, deserving enough because we don't look like those FAKE people on television then we will never be happy.  How the hell do we know they are happy!!!!!  We say well if we looked like them then........ Or if I had their money I would do this and that.   It all boils down to being happy with ourselves.  Understanding that we are enough.   Believing in yourself and realizing that we are in control of our own happiness. 

Some of us go through our whole lives doing our best to live the way others think we should live, look like, or fit this mold that if you look like this you are loved and accepted.  If you don't then you aren't good enough. and never will be.  Those people who put this type of judgement on others do not realize how they may have created this self sabotaging monster who will live their lives reaching for something that can never be.  Thus, the crippling and self-inflicted reality that enough is never enough.  Then begins the abuse of food, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, etc. 

As much as we can blame others for our behavior and at times it is so damn easy to do,  we really need to look within ourselves and understand why we have let others opinions of us control our thinking and way of life.  Do we think so little of ourselves that the only way to deal with things is by abusing  those things which I have just listed above?  Do they really comfort us and make us feel so much better?  HELL NOOOOOO!!!

These so called addictions are what we have used as our crutch and our excuses to take away the pain, the stresses and sadness of life.   It is time to say to ourselves that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! We are enough we are worthy of all the goodness that life has to offer.  We are deserving of being happy, healthy and appreciating all the beautiful people around us who help to make us better individuals.  We live and learn and in the end it is enough. It always has been.

Believing you're worth your weight in Self Love

Okay, here I am after not writing for sometime now.  Kind of unsure yet so needed.  I have been going through so many different things in my life and finding that I am in need and want of expressing it all here.

It is quite amazing all the beautiful souls that I have met along my journey.  Each person being such a bright light in my life.  This journey of creating myself not only one of self discovery.

I started this blog because I had seen so many changes in myself once I had turned 40.  This time in my life that is  what I would call a time of "renewal" or a "rebirth" of sorts.  Finding out about me, finding that still after all these years, I still deal with issues that had haunted me as a child.  Issues with weight, lack of confidence and self worth.  It is amazing how these "things" you never seem to outgrow until you realize that carrying this within you only makes you an adult who doesn't think much of yourself.

Very sad.  I look back and see that if I could talk to myself as that young girl, I would tell her that she is a beautiful angel filled with so much joy and happiness.  With so much love and potential.  That she is worth believing in and worth her weight in Self Love.  As a child the last thing on our minds is how we feel about ourselves.  It's about what others think of us.  And that if you are called names while in grammar or junior high school, that is all you see when you look in that mirror.  There begins the self hatred, self loathing, lack of confidence and self worth.

Honestly, to this day I remember so vividly the name calling I endured.  Four eyes, fat, buffalo butt, etc.  Those words to this day still bother me.  I also recall how mortified I was when waiting on line in the cafeteria, hoping that the kid or kids behind me wouldn't have a field day making fun of me for what I was wearing, looked like or whatever.  It was so upsetting.  Of course then after school, the first thing I wanted to do was eat.  Junk food of course.  Ahhh, the comforts of food.  It made me feel so much better.  Temporarily of course.  But as a kid you don't realize the destruction you create within yourself by feeding into your emotions, the name calling and all the other bullshit that comes with it.

SELF LOVE!!!! It's what it's all about!!!! With that you are able to stand strong.  Believing that anything is possible.  Believing in yourself and all your potential.  Doing things that you had only dreamed about but never thought it could be your reality.  Now being who I am still with many childhood issues, I want to tell that young, vibrant, pretty girl with glasses, that she is worth it.  That when she gets older she will find her way.  That no matter what it's all about staying strong,  staying true to your beliefs, loving yourself and knowing that all good things come to those who believe they are worth  their weight in SELF LOVE!!!!!