Mirror Mirror on the wall

For some reason this came to me this morning as I was driving to work.  I wanted to concentrate on what we see when we look in the mirror at ourselves.  Some days are better than others.  Women tend to be quite harsh on themselves nit-picking at every little imperfection.  Instead of looking at the beauty that lies within.  I can tell you that is me completely.

I have lived my life for so many years looking in the mirror totally disgusted at times.  I always had this view of not being pretty or good enough.  So needless to say, my self esteem was pretty low.  The sadness within me was so obvious on my face.  So who would want to bother talking to me if we would be in a room filled with people.  I felt so unattractive.  I thought that is the reason why no one would even strike up a conversation because they would not want to be seen talking to this ugly duckling.  Never did I give myself enough credit.   It was like I was punishing myself for my existence.  It was all so exhausting and totally self inflicted. 

As I am talking about this it upsets me to realize that this is how I truly felt.  I would live life constantly worrying about what people thought of me on the outside.  It really makes me sick that I could be so superficial or put that label upon others.  Yes, it could be that some people like that do exist.  But for the most part I was the one with the issues. 

What I am realizing at this point in my life is that I need to be truly and honestly happy with myself.  The only thing that matters is how I see myself as a person when I look in that mirror.  I cannot continue to scrutinize all that is not "PERFECT" in my eyes.  None of us are perfect but we always wished somehow it could be.  But that is not reality.

I am just one of many women out there who have been caught up in this whirlwind of low self esteem.   Some cases are worse than others but somehow the impact of that in our lives can lead to quite a miserable one.  In my case, I am so lucky that I am surrounded by such wonderful human beings who continue to give me the emotional and loving support that I so desperately needed for so long.  I have now learned to accept it and take it all in knowing that I am truly deserving of it.  It has given me such unbelievable strength.  I feel that what I have now no one can take away fom me.